Mass effect 2 :Baby Grunt's adventure
by Revan Sama
Summary: Baby Grunt was recruited the last, how will survive Shepard and the rest of the team with A baby Krogan to protect against...well...everything!  In this: Some random chapters, all loyalty quest and maybe the base of the collectors in the end.
1. Obsessed or mother goose?

**Chapter one: Obsessed or mother goose?**

The Normandy.

A ship full of heroes of the galaxy on the orders of commander Shepard.

He recruited many companions to save humanity against the collectors and the reapers.

The elite of the elite, the best epic team ever existed.

And today he has recruited his last team member, a Krogan named Okeer...However like in every missions, everything doesn't go in Shepard's way (-cough-Virmire-Cough-).

Okeer died because of asphyxia...Or maybe boredom, while waiting for Shepard to kill Jedore of the blue sun.

And before he died, he gave his child a name: Grunt.

The only problem was that this Krogan was only a baby.

Small, violent, blue eyes and Kelly chambers is obsessed with him.

"Have you seen little Grunty? He is so cute! " Asked Kelly Chambers...a bit too excited.

Shepard looked at her and asked :

"Grunty?"

"Yes! It's the new pet name I gave him!" she said with a big smile.

"He seem to like playing hide and seek with me, isn't it adorable?"

_Or he was damn too scared of her._

"Oh, and by the way commander! You got some messages." She said.

"Okay, I'll read them later...for now I'm going to-"he said.

"The illusive man want to talk with you."

"The illusive dumbass can wait, now I have to find Grunt." Said the commander Shepard

"COMMANDER! Please do not use this kind of language in front of Grunty. He is very sensitive you know." She said angrily.

_A Krogan sensitive?_

"Sorry, Kelly I will...huh...try to be less rude with him on our next mission."

"Excuse me? What mission?" She asked.

"Uh? Well...the next mission we will do to reinforce the team."

"Do that imply shooting on stuff and people."

"Well...Yeah."

"NO WAY! Commander Shepard, As the yeoman of this ship, I command you to not bring my precious baby Grunty on your violent missions!"

"Wait a second, YOU command ME? !" Asked the outraged commander Shepard.

"Yes I do and no weapons for him neither."

"But-but, How is he going to defend himself without a weapon?"

"He won't need it because I'll defend him! There is a lot of pedophiles who can abuse him in this galaxy!"She said while nodding to her own explanation.

_You mean like you?_

"But-" Shepard tried to make her understand.

"Either you let Grunty on the ship with me OR find yourself another secretary." and failed miserably.

"WHAT? !"

And that is how Commander Shepard first Mission begin:

Find a way, to get Baby Grunt outside the ship for a Mission without Satan...I mean the Yeoman founds out.

**End of chapter one.**

(In the next chapter two: Pedophile? ! )

While having a 'nice and non polite' conversation with the illusive man in the Communications Room :

"Papa Shepard, are you a petofile?" asked the innocent baby grunt while trying to eat EDI, without any success.

Shepard just spited his coffee on the illusive man. And the illusive man just dropped his cigar on his pants, very painful.

What the f****? !


	2. Pedophile? !

**Chapter two : Pedophile? !**

Today was a wonderful day for the illusive man. Very productive.

Finding a way to stop the collector, save humanity, sleep with three women at the same time! An Asari, a human woman and a female krogan.

Not pervert at all.

And now he would watch some unhealthy porn that you don't want to imagine what it is while smoking his cigar.

And at the end of shepard's mission, Cerberus will join the reapers as badass boss in the end of this story.

Yes, a very nice day for the illusive man.

Until...

A certain person without any delicacy came into the communication room to have a nice chat with him.

"Illusive man! I need to talk to-What the hell? !" asked an horrified Shepard.

The porn was still on the screen. And the sound was very loud too.

You can heard screams and moan all over the place...Very embarrassing.

"Cut that shit off!" screamed shepard

"off?" asked the illusive man.

"YES, off!"

After turning off the porn-

"The sound too!"

After turning off the porn and the sound, shepard calmed down and said:

"Are you insane? Do you even know what sin you have done to me?"

"I don't remember raping you." said the illusive man.

"NOT THAT! I mean the yeoman Kelly chambers! What were you thinking when you hired her!"

"She slept with me for the job and she got it." explained the illusive man.

"I don't remember sleeping with you when I accepted to stop the collectors." retorted Shepard.

"Oh? You mean you want-"

"NO! I want you to fire her before she blew up the ship with everything she consider as 'cute'."

"I don't understand. Does she make the mission more difficult?"

"YES! She doesn't want me to take Grunty with me on missions!" explained Shepard.

"Grunty? "

"I meant Grunt...That her new pet name for him. And she doesn't even want him to take weapons."

"And what do you want me to do? It's your crew after all" said the illusive man.

"You mean the crew YOU choose for ME you illusive jackass!"

Before the conversation could go berserk and violent and rude like always, someone stepped in the communication room and asked.

"Papa Shepard? Are you a petofile?" asked Grunt.

Shepard spilled all his morning coffee on the illusive man.

And the illusive man's cigar has fallen down on his pants, very painful...

"W-W-W-W-What?" Screamed Shepard.

"Hmm that would explain some things." said the illusive man

"What the fuck?" Asked Shepard.

"Why are you only in your pants?"

"I just woke up...ALONE!"

Grunt stared at the illusive man for a while and then said while pointing at him:

"PETOFILE!"

While distracted, the illusive man turned the video of porn on.

"Cut the video off!" screamed Shepard

You can heard screams and moan all over the place...Very embarrassing.

"'gaps' he is hurting the lady!" said Grunt.

The video was turned off. Thanks goodness...

"Grunt, get your ass in your room while I'm talking with the illusive petofile." said Shepard

"HEY, I don't take underage women!" The illusive man was outraged.

After Grunt leaved the communication room, with sad puppy blue eyes, Shepard said to the illusive man:

"Now you scared him to death with all those naked women."

"I was naked too you know..." said the illusive man.

"You mean it's YOU on those porn video? !"

"I don't like the idea of looking a man naked body...Like yours."

"Shut up! I was going to put the some clothes after our conversation. Anyway do something about Kelly right now or I slap your ass with a singularity."Said Shepard.

"I knew we shouldn't make you a biotic again..."

While the commander was leaving the room the illusive man asked:

"...You don't think Grunt would say anything about what happen...do you?"

...

...

...

They both were thinking the same thing:

Shit!

If he doesn't hurry up to stop grunt, he is going to explain everything about the illusive man's porn to everyone...WORST...  
>He is going to tell Kelly that he saw all those naked people. And if Kelly Chambers know that her 'baby' saw that...Well let's just say you rather ask Jack for protection.<p>

**End of chapter two.**


End file.
